Acorner Votes to Plant 41,001 Trees Immediately
News reached Acorner this week that elsewhere in the region, a considerable number of trees may one day disappear.
Nobody was entirely certain of the details.
The Duke requested facts.
The Heron requested patience.
Charlie requested lunch.
Harey requested directions.
Nevertheless, an extraordinary woodland meeting was called, and the matter was discussed at length beneath the cork oaks.
As usual, opinions varied.
Some members felt it was too early to comment.
Others pointed out that humans have been changing landscapes for thousands of years.
The Lost Architect of Atlantis began sketching a woodland of such complexity that nobody could determine where the entrance might be.
Bo the Boar fell asleep halfway through the meeting.
Everything appeared normal.
Until somebody asked a simple question.
“If 41,000 trees disappear tomorrow,” said Olive’s younger brother, “what exactly are we going to do about it?”
The woodland fell silent.
The Heron looked towards the horizon.
The Duke considered the matter carefully.
Eventually he stood and announced:
“We shall plant 41,001.”
The motion passed unanimously.
Even Charlie awoke to vote.
The Woodland’s Perspective
The discussion that followed was surprisingly thoughtful.
Nature, after all, rarely attends planning meetings.
The storks do not submit reports.
The foxes do not hire consultants.
The boars do not study development proposals.
The cork oaks do not vote.
Yet they are often affected by decisions made elsewhere.
A forest may stand for decades.
A field may remain unchanged for generations.
Then one day something changes.
A road appears.
A building appears.
A fence appears.
A woodland disappears.
Life adapts.
Because it must.
But adaptation is not always the same as understanding.
The creatures simply gather what belongs to them—which is usually very little—and move elsewhere.
The deer seek new shelter.
The birds seek new nesting places.
The insects seek new habitat.
The boars seek new woodland.
Nobody asks their opinion.
Bo Raises an Objection
At this point, Bo had finally woken up.
“Strange creatures, humans,” he said.
The committee waited.
“First they remove woodland.”
A pause.
“Then they complain there are too many boars.”
Another pause.
“Then they remove the boars.”
The woodland remained silent.
“Then they complain there are no boars.”
Mrs Sow Bo nodded.
Bo considered the matter further.
“Wouldn’t it be easier to leave a little room in the first place?”
The Duke described this as one of Bo’s more coherent contributions.
The Space Between Things
For many years, Acorner has observed a curious phenomenon.
As places become more desirable, people arrive.
As more people arrive, more land is required.
As more land is required, more fences appear.
As more fences appear, the available space for everything else becomes smaller.
This is not unique to forests.
Nor is it unique to boars.
The same story has played out repeatedly around the world.
The challenge is rarely individual creatures.
The challenge is habitat.
The space between things.
The corridors that allow wildlife to move.
The room required for nature to continue being nature.
Every creature needs somewhere to live.
Humans simply happen to be the only ones capable of drawing the boundaries.
A Different Response
Acorner considered writing letters.
Acorner considered holding protests.
Acorner briefly considered asking Harey to negotiate on behalf of the woodland.
That idea was abandoned immediately.
Instead, the committee agreed upon a simpler course of action.
Plant a tree.
Then another.
Then another.
Not because it solves everything.
Not because it replaces every forest.
Not because it changes the world overnight.
But because doing something useful has always seemed preferable to doing nothing at all.
Resolution Passed.
The first tree was planted immediately.
The second also, but because Harey planted hers upside down it wasn’t counted.
Progress was initially slow.
The Lost Architect began designing a commemorative woodland despite nobody asking him to.
The Heron continued watching the horizon.
Charlie resumed sleeping.
The Duke remained quietly optimistic.
And so the work began.
There remained only 41,000 trees to go.
Which seemed entirely achievable.
Eventually.
Because it was quietly useful.
Woodland Census Update
Trees planted: 1
Trees remaining: 41,000
Volunteers expected: 41,000
Probability of this occurring: uncertain.
Worth attempting anyway: unanimously approved.
Recorded by order of the Duke of Cork.
Charlie abstained as she was still asleep.
Harey is still looking for a suitable planting location.
Important Notice
All trees entering Acorner shall be subject to inspection.
Invasive species, plastic trees, ornamental palm trees with unrealistic expectations, and anything described by a garden centre as “fast-growing and impossible to stop” may be refused entry.
Native species shall receive priority consideration.
Mrs Sow Bo remains Head of Border Control.
PUBLIC NOTICE
Issued by Bo the Boar
After many years of dedicated service to woodland floor management, acorn quality control, and general foraging operations, I regret to inform residents that I can no longer consume all available acorns.
Current supply significantly exceeds operational requirements.
Consequently:
FREE ACORNS
Pick Up Only
• No reservations.
• No delivery service.
• No international shipping.
• First come, first served.
Suitable for:
• future oak trees,
• squirrels,
• woodland restoration,
• optimistic gardeners,
• and everyone participating in the 41,001 Tree Initiative.
Unsuitable for:
• decorative bowls,
• speculative investment,
• and discussions regarding acorn futures markets.
Mrs Sow Bo has confirmed that this decision was made voluntarily and not due to lack of appetite.
The Duke of Cork has described the announcement as:
“The most generous act of woodland philanthropy witnessed this season.”
The Lost Architect immediately proposed an Acorn Distribution Centre.
The proposal was rejected on the grounds that the acorns already know where they belong.
Harey collected twelve and cannot remember where she put them.
The Heron, after considerable reflection, offered perhaps the most useful observation:
“Every oak tree begins as a free acorn that somebody didn’t eat.”
Which is rather difficult to argue with.
And thus Acorner’s first woodland regeneration programme was launched entirely by accident.
The official welcome notice:
Welcome to Acorner
If you have arrived carrying a tree, you are most welcome.
Please plant it somewhere sensible.
If uncertain, consult the Duke.
Do not consult Harey.
June 2026.
Ronald Wayne
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